Smilebåndet

Funny quotes Quotes :: Finest Quotes:

"~ A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. ~ Carrie Snow

~ I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. ~ Will Shriner

~ My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

~ When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~ Unknown

~ Babies are such a nice way to start people ~ Don Herold

~ You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping. ~ Cindy Crawford

~ Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. ~ Laurence J. Peter

~ My father was a simple man. My mother was a simple woman. You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton. ~ Chic Murray

~ I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. ~ Unknown

~ In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards. ~ Mark Twain

~ The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case. ~ George W. Bush

~ Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit. ~ Bill Maher


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